Birthday Invitation

We're doing a sort of "old fashioned" birthday party this year: very simple, at a park, with cupcakes and lemonade. Paper invitations are in the mail, but I couldn't resist sharing the design. I do so love to design things!

Status Update

So we returned on Thursday from a week and a half in Cleveland visiting The Papa's family, with a quick side jaunt to see Little P's biological family in Rochester, NY. What a FUN trip!

We have spent the last few days unpacking, trying to get over our jetlag, and giving the kids the chance to settle back into routines. They were MESSED UP, I tell you. (e.g. LP was, perhaps, running around the house maniacally at 4:30 in the morning, among other things.)  They did really well for all the change and extra stimulation and difference in diet, but it has definitely taken a few days to return to "normal." We might almost be there.

I also uploaded a bunch of photos and started editing and organizing them, so there's a lot of fun stuff to come. Yay for you.

Little Update

The kiddos have been sick this week: Benjamin had a two-day bout with fever (no other symptoms except the fatigue and neediness associated with fever) and Sadie has been battling a two-week sinus cold that turned into an ear infection and fever. We got meds for her Friday night, so I hope she will be feeling better soon.

In other news, I still have updates to put up from the swiftly-becoming-distant-past...so check back this week for Part II of the Christmas Cookies Affair, a description (with photos!) of Grandma Doro's and Aunt Linda's visit in January, and a slideshow of Benjamin's 3rd birthday - also from January.  How exciting, you say!

Yes, indeed.

Welcome home, Sadie!

Well, our brief sojourn back to Christmas was interrupted by the birth of the newest addition to The P-Pod...sweet little Sadie Eloise.

Born on February 21, 2011, at 5:33 PM, Sadie came in at 7 lbs. 5 oz. and 20 inches long.


Her name is not only pretty (we think), but strong...meaning "warrior princess." (If that doesn't bring up images from Lord of the Rings, I don't know what does.) Her first battle was entering this world; she gave everyone quite a scare during those last six minutes. But we shall tell that tale in another post. For now, she is healthy, warm, safe, and snugly at home.

Letter to a Woman Considering Adoption

Today we had our last official meeting with Sarah prior to getting hooked up with a woman making an adoption plan.  I have to turn in hard copies of our letter and photo this week, but at this point if a woman told Sarah who she was looking for and we fit the description, we could be matched.

Matching means that, to the best of her ability, a woman has decided that she wants a specific couple to parent her child. Usually this happens in the last two months of her pregnancy. She can always change her mind, even thirty days after the child has gone home with the adoptive parents. We rest in the knowledge that God is placing the baby He wants with us, and in the excellent work Sarah does with birth mothers in preparing them for the reality of going home without their baby.

For now, we are looking for the woman who is looking for us. We need everyone's help to spread the word. Some of you will get paper copies and brochures to give to your pastors or hairdressers or nurse friends (if you are willing). We have put the letter and photo up on this web site now under the tab that says Letter to a Birth Mother. Please copy and send the link to anyone you think would have connections - college students, teachers, counselors, medical professionals, people in ministry, and so on.

And...thank you. For you prayers, for your interest, for loving us, and for now sharing our story with others.

Morning Angst

Oh, dear. Little P is having one of those mornings. One of those toddler mornings. One of those mornings that makes a mama go, "What the heck am I supposed to DO with this?" One of those mornings that makes a mama want to run for the hills, leaving the child screeching by himself in his crib.

New Moms WARNING: If anyone tells you that the "terrible twos" starts around two years old, they are lying. For all intents and purposes, the terrible twos start at about 18 months. I'm so sorry.

Believe me.

I am so very, very sorry.

Fathers Represent!

Now. Let us dwell upon the reasons we at The P-Pod admire and adore our resident papa.

1. He loves Little P enough to get up at 5am (still, sometimes) to feed him his early morning milk and change his overflowing diaper.

2. He loves Mama enough to work a stable full-time job in order to financially support her as a full-time mom.

3. He teaches Little P how to ride a bike, walk the dog, and eat Cheerios with a spoon.

4. He teaches Mama how to have patience with little people and how to not mind when there are toys and large food crumbs lying everywhere.

5. He enjoys hiking with the family at Daley Ranch.

6. He is kind, loving, and handsome.

7. He is a man of integrity and character.

8. He is emotionally available to both Little P and Mama.

9. He thinks Little P is as hilarious as Mama does.

10. He is Little P's hero.

And while there are many more reasons we adore and admire this man, we don't want to scare away our readership with sappiness.

Have a great day, everyone!

First Step

Benjamin took his first unassisted step today! He was trying to get from standing next to his drum to standing next to the coffee table. He let go of the drum, took one step, and grabbed onto the coffee table. Here we gooooooooo!

Let's finalize this thing!

OK - the P-pod is going to Albany the weekend of Oct 25th. We'll be in court on the 27th at 8:45 sharp to get this adoption DONE! Hooray!

Yikes!

So after cleaning up the yard this morning, I noticed a message on our answering machine. It was the adoption lawyer. He said that the courts responded to our requested dates for finalization - dates that were all in November and early December...dates that would allow us time to purchase affordable airline tickets, and to avoid holiday travelers. He said:

The email I received in response to your dates stated that this case has to be closed by 10/28. They gave us four possible openings: the 15th, the 17th, the 20th, and the 27th. I am available at any of those times. Give me a call and let me know what you want to do.

OK, courts...tomorrow? At 8:45 AM? (These procedures all take place at 8:45 AM).

I must wrap this entry up as I have to get on the Internet and figure out who the heck is going to fly us to Albany on such short notice. The good news is, this will all be over by the end of the month.

Adoption Update

If you don't already know someone who's been through the adoption process, I will let you in on a secret: it goes on, and on, and on, and on. And the lawyer bills keep coming, and coming, and coming, and coming.

That said, we are finally nearing the end of the process. Our (supposedly) final batch of paperwork was submitted to the NY courts last week. If they approve it, we will receive a date to show up in court for finalization proceedings. This means that we will fly to Albany and appear in a Saratoga court for an hour to let the judge see Benjamin with us and to sign documents that will make him a Petrencsik for good. (At this point he's ours, it's just that the process is incomplete. After finalization, we no longer have to report on our health, yet again, fill out updates for the court, or employ a lawyer or an agency.) The only hassles we will then face will be of the usual parenting type.

That's something to celebrate. Of course the real celebration will occur after the court finalization, but, hey, we make the most of our little milestones along the way.

The only thing that may present a snag is our move to California. We may be asked to update our social worker report by having a SW come visit our new home to ensure that we are still providing suitable housing for our dear Little P. Let's see...that will be another thousand dollars, so I'm hoping that they will consider all the reports submitted thus far as adequate. We have not suddenly become delinquents who managed to fool everyone for nearly two years in order to abscond with a child and treat him badly. But, you know, I suppose someone might be able to pull off such a stunt...don't know why they would want to when they could put a kid through college for the cost of going through the adoption process.

OK, I'll stop being snarky about it. We understand that it is better to be safe than sorry when providing for children.

So anyway. We now wait for notice about the date of our court appearance.

As I announce this exciting news, I also want to share how grateful I am for the support and open arms we've received from members of both Emma's and Kevin's families. Several folks from both sides touch base with me regularly and have been encouraging, appreciative, and kind. Emma and I continue to deepen our relationship in little ways - both relevant to Benjamin and not...sometimes just as girlfriends might. It's simply beautiful how this journey never ceases to surprise us with blessings. That is just as important to announce as our finalization with the courts.

Movin', movin', movin'

Well, folks, the P-Pod is nearly all packed. Five of our dear friends showed up today to help pack, load, and clean and it's simply amazing how much got accomplished! Our fridge and washer and dryer all go in the truck Wednesday afternoon, but we aren't driving out until Friday morning. I'm still trying to figure out how we're going to eat...maybe a lot of egg sandwiches from the coffee shop around the corner.

Anyway, the biggest thing as far as the blog is concerned is my loss of internet access. This is the last blog entry you will see from me until Tuesday or Wednesday next week. (We're turning in our router or whatever it is tomorrow...sigh).

Cheerio! The next time you hear from us, we'll be in America's Finest (bankrupt) City!

An Open "Thank You"

I just want to publicly acknowledge you all as a loving and supportive community. I am so humbled and grateful for the way people in our neighborhood, church, and family have surrounded us with strength and peace and joy. Sometimes I can't even believe how good we've got it.

So, to recap the ways you all have blessed us, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, if you have...

brought us dinner or a bottle of champagne
walked our dog
sewn Benjamin a pocket diaper
dusted my bookshelves
mailed off some hand-me-downs
thoughtfully purchased a gift for Benjamin
gotten me a massage
bought a car seat or a stroller for us
asked questions about our adoption story
listened patiently to our adoption story
carefully prepared food for the baby shower
celebrated Benjamin at our shower
shared relevant and encouraging scriptures
knitted a hat or blanket
cleaned and organized the cabinet beneath my kitchen sink
looked after Benjamin at a moment's notice while I was upstairs trying to recover from a violent stomach bug
donated a changing table
changed a diaper
baby sat for a few hours so I could run errands
dropped off soup
stopped by after work to check in
shared wisdom from your own experience
attended the entrustment ceremony
held up a blanket to hide my breasts as I attempted to breast feed in a rest stop.

God has blessed us richly through your actions large and small. We can't imagine going through this without you. I don't have the words for the size of my gratitude, so I will stop here. Thank you.

The Seal of Approval

Early this morning, or late last night, at 12:00 AM anyway, Benjamin officially became ours! In New York, birthparents have the right to change their minds and reclaim their child up to 30 days after the adoptive parents have taken the child home. While this adoption appeared to be something that all parties were in agreement on, we did breathe a sigh of relief when the critical hour came and went.

In fact, a few of our closest friends came over Saturday night to help celebrate (the agency hadn't been clear about which night was the official night and we originally thought it was Friday). We did our best to stay up 'til midnight, but with 50% of the participants being school teachers, well, parties just don't last that long when folks are used to getting up before 6:00AM. Benjamin did get a lot of attention which pleased him very much.

So, around 10:45, house deserted, we pulled out the family sheepskin and laid down as a family to simply snuggle (me and the three b's: Brent, Benjamin, and Buckley, also known as TripleThreat, B Cubed, or me and the boys)...and promptly fell asleep.

(Side Note: We will not be adding any more B names to our family. I am already thinking of names for any future canine members of the family...I like Sid or Paco. With names like that, I almost want to go out and get me another dog! Actually, I liked Sid for a boy-child, but Brent vetoed it on account of it being either too weird, or too Deadwood-villian-ish. Odd, I think, as he suggested we name our boy Sage. Hello?!! That's more mainstream than Sid?)

We need not worry about acknowledging the final moment, however, as my family was celebrating in California, with guests no less! They called at 12:00 to congratulate us - on speaker phone with half a dozen wine-imbibing friends and relatives. Woken from slumber, I could only mumble, "yeah, he's really ours" and then listen to all the cheering on the other end - things being yelled that I didn't understand but that clearly sounded exuberant and encouraging.

So, Benjamin is irrevocably a Petrencsik and we and our peeps couldn't be happier.

10 Pound Mark

The unofficial weigh-in (me holding Benjamin on the scale and then subtracting my weight) for today is 10 POUNDS! What a hunk! So here are some photos to commemorate it.

Lactation Station Shuts Down

Some of you have been asking about, or encouraging, even looking for inspiration from my attempts to induce lactation. Alas, this train has stopped running.

Before I let you into Station Lack-o'-milk, I want to share that BY FAR my favorite comment about this whole endeavor came from Cara, a friend and reader of much Latin American literature, who loved the idea of inducing lactation because it was a "bit of magical realism". I really liked the idea of living out something from a Garcia Marquez story, although if it were truly a Garcia Marquez tale, some dark creature might have crept out of a clay pot and bathed me with a lactation charm which would have been a whole lot easier than spending time with Miss Lactina. But I digress.

So, leaving behind the magical and focusing on the realism, I found that inducing lactation with a newborn in the house is laughable for two primary reasons: one, the supplemental nursing system (SNS) is a nuisance, and two, who has time to sit around with suction cups on their breasts when they're caring for an infant?!

The SNS is shown in the photo. No, that is not my boob. Mine is significantly smaller. You can see that there are multiple small parts, and things that have to be taped precisely in the right spot. Yes, ouch. The milk/formula is put into the little container and the baby feeds by sucking the nipple with the precisely placed tube. This allows the baby to eat and the breast to be stimulated to eventually produce milk.

Besides the logistics, which included sucking hot soapy water through the tube after every use in order to clean it out (10 times a day), and the taping and peeling off of tape from my skin to use the SNS, Benjamin decided that the tube was just not quite right in the mouth. Feedings began to last for over an hour and required me to retape the darn thing to the other breast when he got bored of the first. And he would shake his head back and forth with his mouth open and around the tube while making little grunting noises (which are cute now, but were just way too primal for my patience at the time). The cleansing of the contraption left my hands all dry and my fingers hangnaily.

Thus, I tired of the routine and began to dread feeding time. One night as I cried frustratedly at 2 am with a crabbing baby on my lap, I decided to just do the bottle at night. Oh, my, gosh. Life became manageable again. But I felt like I had given up on the whole thing too soon. I thought about the possiblity of nursing for a whole year...and by starting him on the bottle I was saying no to that. So I kept trying to use the SNS for a few more days, and finally, when Brent said he would gladly help with feedings if we used a bottle, and when my mom (who breastfed all four of us and gave birth naturally) told me not to feel bad if I couldn't make this happen, and when several experienced neighbor ladies said I need to take care of myself and not to try to do too much...I said, okay. It's really okay.

I have learned that probably the only way to accomplish this (if you are interested...such as Tara, who is in the process of adopting from China) is to start early. Get some milk in before the baby arrives so that you don't have to use the SNS. Take the herbs and all that, but the key is starting long before the child arrives. I was able to do that for baby Levi. But when his adoption fell through, I was discouraged and emotionally spent and I just couldn't get myself to return to the routine when I was sick and exhusted. Benjamin, on the other hand, kind of snuck up on us and I was not prepared.

One more bit of perspective: people into the whole lactation inducing thing advise taking a drug called Domperidone - it is the only way to ensure a full supply of milk. The thing that worries me about it, and the reason I did not seek it out and use it, is that there has not been enough research done on how it affects the infant. I'm kind of a natural, less-medicine-is-best kind of gal, but I did consider this possibility for supplying my own breastmilk until I heard that part. It's one thing to knowingly sign up for your own side effects. It's another to subject your baby to some unknown drug runoff in your milk.

This Lactation Station is officially closed.

Unto Us A Son is Given...

That’s right, we have been chosen by a birthmother. Our son-to-be is due on December 5.

We are so fortunate to have a birthmother who is healthy and taking care of herself during her pregnancy. She is also very warm towards us and open in how she views our involvement on the birth day (she asked us to be present to cut the umbilical cord). She would like a relationship with us and the wonderful thing is that she is the kind of young woman we could have in our lives, if that makes sense. In some adoption scenarios, it would be quite challenging to maintain a relationship with a birthmother due to mental health or other issues.

Though we are adopting locally, our child will have international ties. His mother is originally from the Philippines and was, herself, adopted at the age of 7 by an American couple. His birthfather is originally from Panama, though he is not in the picture right now so I don’t know if he’s an American citizen, or really anything else – except that he’s reportedly 6’4”! I didn’t know Panamanians could be so tall.

Brent and I are now wading through names – J (the birthmother) requested that we include Caleb somewhere in the name. We like Caleb very much, but wonder how to put anything else with Caleb Petrencsik (ain’t that a mouthful!). So, he may just be Caleb Petrencsik. I was hoping for something with a Spanish flair and we’re working on possibilities. Who knows? We might just decide when we see the little guy.

And yet, with all the excitement and the planning that must be done, the accumulating of necessities for the first month, we are being told, warned, by our agency not to get too involved. Sigh. In New York, a birthmother has 30 days after the birth to change her mind. The agency has caused me sufficient worry about the risk in J’s scenario and the likelihood that others will pressure her to change her mind and parent. Brent continues to remain optimistic. He says his gut is feeling sure of this.

This is sure, and yet tentative. My hope is that in January we will send word that it’s official; there’s no going back, baby [insert-name-here] Caleb is truly ours.

Until then, it’s time to go buy a car seat and some diapers!