Puppy Dog Tails

Benjamin is fascinated with dogs. He moves his head and neck like one, shakes his towel like one, and tries to drink from puddles and dog bowls by planting his face in the water.

Lately, he has been pointing out dog body parts - ears, toes, mouth, tail. "Buddy tail," he pronounces, lightly touching Buckley's tail.

In the bath one evening, he was feeling around those parts that make him male. He grasped it, looked down at it, and said proudly: "Tail."

Yes, every boy needs his tail.

Fathers Represent!

Now. Let us dwell upon the reasons we at The P-Pod admire and adore our resident papa.

1. He loves Little P enough to get up at 5am (still, sometimes) to feed him his early morning milk and change his overflowing diaper.

2. He loves Mama enough to work a stable full-time job in order to financially support her as a full-time mom.

3. He teaches Little P how to ride a bike, walk the dog, and eat Cheerios with a spoon.

4. He teaches Mama how to have patience with little people and how to not mind when there are toys and large food crumbs lying everywhere.

5. He enjoys hiking with the family at Daley Ranch.

6. He is kind, loving, and handsome.

7. He is a man of integrity and character.

8. He is emotionally available to both Little P and Mama.

9. He thinks Little P is as hilarious as Mama does.

10. He is Little P's hero.

And while there are many more reasons we adore and admire this man, we don't want to scare away our readership with sappiness.

Have a great day, everyone!

Morning Stories

As if the image of The Papa reading to Little P is not cute enough, check out how Little P gazes at his papa in the second shot.
Is there any question about little boys needing their daddies?

Cheap Thrills

It started out innocently enough. Little P had tired of his toys (most were received some six months ago and have long since lost their panache), so Mama went on a toy shopping trip.

Knowing how much he loves music, one of the items Mama purchased was a $25 keyboard that was recommended for ages 7 and up.

With all the drum beats and preprogrammed rhythms (samba, rock, waltz, etc.) and blinking lights, Little P soon became overstimulated, and the following ensued:
Rolling on the carpet.

More intense rolling along with a few shouts of glee.

Mad rushing about on his knees and squawks of delight.

And for the finale, a rush toward the keyboard for more blinking lights and hip beats.

Just because something starts quietly, doesn't mean it will end quietly. Not these days. Not for a toddler.

Sleepyhead

Grocery Shopping

Benjamin's big adventure today included pushing the child-sized grocery cart around the store. He helped Mama pick out kale and pears, bananas and milk, and some other stuff. He did quite well with pushing, impressing all the gray-haired folks in the store. Mama had to help with steering on occasion, but that's to be expected. All in all we made quite a spectacle and cheered up a few people's day. Not bad for a routine grocery trip!

Two Word Phrases WITH VERBS!

Little P is now using verbs with nouns. Here are a few of his latest:

Go gym.
Mama deeko. (tickle)
Play toys.
Go car.
Car zoom-zoom.
Kick it.

And a few other combos...

Buddy tayo (Buckley's tail)
No, Buddy!
Gamma house.

And just for fun, I've been saying "Okie-Dokie" lately, and Benjamin now runs around shouting: Dokie-dokie-dokie-dokie!

Get that boy a violin!

So said Benjamin's music teacher. On Tuesday, at 'sic lessons with Grandma, Benjamin met a cello for the very first time. He got to watch Miss Tiffany play it, and then he was allowed to hold the bow and draw it across the strings. Zowie! A whole new world. Word on the street is that his eyes gleamed extra brightly and he did not want to give that bow back, prompting Miss Tiffany to declare that he needs his very own violin.

We're going to follow up on this. Mama is a little perplexed...just what can a toddler learn about finger placement and all that? He only recently managed to stick triangular blocks in triangular holes.

We'll let you know what we find out here at The Pod. In the meantime, you of musical experience/ability, what say you? How early is a reasonable time to buy instruments and start learning how to play them? (I'm not talking about drums and xylophones...I'm talking strings and pianos and wind instruments.)

Someone just put...

...a can of Pepsi in the dryer along with a diaper. Then that someone walked away and clapped for himself.

Upon Discovering the Yano

Here's our boy on Mother's Day at Grandma's house. He decided to play the baby grand and did an adequate job of not banging on the keys.

But why was it that he understood, this of all times, that if you lift up the cover you will reveal keys on which to play?

It has to do with Mama's birthday present which arrived the day before Mother's Day, on Saturday, May 9th, Mama's 35th birthday.

Mama now has a lovely piano, on loan indefinitely from long-time family friends. Grandma had it delivered and tuned.

Mama is getting back in touch with her musical self while Little P discovers his own musical self. He's all about making 'sic on the yano. In fact, he watched Grandma and Mama play a bit and then sat on the bench and put his hands up on the keys gently, fingers spread wide, looking quite like he knew what he was doing! Then he pressed different black keys softly with his pointer finger. He really likes those black keys.

'Sic is so much fun that Grandma has started taking him to 'sic lessons for toddlers, taught by a friend of hers. The children and their respective adults gather and sing, play instruments, and dance. I think it's even bilingual - English and Spanish.

Mama loves that he enjoys music so much. There's something to be said for early exposure!

Two-Word Phrases

Little P is ramping up his communication skills. He is working on the adjective-noun combos and combos showing possession. Here are a few that have come out of his mouth recently:

pretty flowers
hot peas
num-num appoes (apples)
clean diapo (diaper)
pretty Morgo (Morgan)
pretty art
hot war (water)
pretty dars (stars)

Papa bike
Mama shirt
Mama shoes
Papa 'puter (computer)
Mama cuppy (coffee)

I love that he communicates. It's so much fun!

Pain-teen?

Mama: What are you doing, Benjamin?

Little P: Pain-teen?

On hot days we go outside and paint the concrete with water and a paintbrush. Now, Little P carries a paintbrush with him wherever he goes.

In these two shots, a helicopter flew overhead interrupting his artistic focus.

Could those legs be any stouter?

Little P is still in the put-everything-in-your-mouth phase. Mama tries, really she does.

Escondido Farmers' Market

On Tuesdays it is our habit to meet The Papa at his place of work and walk to the farmers' market. The Papa works in downtown Escondido, a mere five-minute drive from our house. The Papa's place of work is a mere five-minute walk to the market. It's all very convenient.

When we visit the market we buy fresh fruit and vegetables, sometimes those wonderfully bright papery flowers whose name eludes me; we eat dinner, as well: The Papa ordering a lamb gyro from the Greek tent, The Mama and Little P eating spicy lentil sambussas from the Ethiopian woman's stand, and The Parents splitting a cinnamon-sugar churro.

We are pleased with Little P's choice of dinner entrees. It is always surprising what a todder shows affinity for, and the fact that he gobbles down curry and hot spices just makes The Mama so proud. He's already enjoying world cuisine.

The Mama intended to take all kinds of bright and happy photos today, but it was terribly hot and crowded. We pooped out early and this is the best shot of the four that were taken. Maybe next week you'll see something better.

Until then...what simple rituals are a part of your weekly routine? Do share!

And, does your toddler enjoy any exotic cuisine or odd flavors?

Fertility, Fostering, and the Future of Our Family, Part II

For Part I, click here.

Fostering has entered our vocabulary. But before I bring you up to speed on that new development, I should fill you in on the past six months of my personal journey.

Somewhere along the way, a college friend of mine who knows a lot about nutrition and holistic health care told me I should try Nutrition Response Therapy. I'm kind of a natural gal, myself, so this appealed to me...all except for the price tag which is not covered by our health insurance. Despite this concern, The Papa and I decided it was worth a try. Or rather, he agreed to give me time to try it out before launching into our next adoption attempt. (When he's ready to run with something, he is ready to run.)

For the past six months I've been seeing a nutritionist/chiropractor who has really amazing results treating infertility. See, our hormones are deeply affected by what we eat, the quality of our nutrition, and the amount of sugar we intake. This is not something that shows up on a routine, Western medicine blood test. My nutritionist has helped me improve my diet, reduce my stress levels, and strengthen my internal organs. He also discovered that I had scary-high levels of mercury in my body and I've been detoxing that.**

**Side note...I sometimes wonder if the mercury in my system was part of the reason God has not allowed me to get pregnant. Recent inquiries into autism have suggested that it may be more related to mercury exposure in the womb than to anything after birth. Mercury is also transmitted through breast milk. If I had been able to induce lactation as I intended, Benjamin would have been exposed to potentially damaging amounts of mercury. I feel very blessed that all that "failure" had a purpose - to protect Benjamin and possibly our future biological child. Now, I may still not be able to get pregnant, but if I do, I will marvel at the precision and care in God's handling of our lives.

Back to the story: After all this time of taking whole foods supplements, eating better (most of the time) and most definitely sleeping better, the doctor has given me the go-ahead to try conceiving. My body is a much more inviting place now, I guess.

At this point, I am not convinced we will ever bear biological children. Though my doctor is sure that this will work, I am not. I still see our child rearing as something designed by God. He may have more children born by other folks intended for us. I don't know. I can only be faithful by taking care of my body the best I know how, praying about the decisions we do make, and keeping an eye open to the opportunities to nurture the children brought into our lives by circumstance.

Which leads me, finally, to fostering.

We will keep trying to conceive, but we are not going to sit around waiting. The Papa and I have looked into foster care and adopting older children through the county. Why not another private adoption? I'll be blunt - the expense. We simply do not have another $20,000 to spend. We're still recovering from the first one, trying to build up our savings. Trying to find money to put toward retirement and family vacations. We do own our house...I guess we could have foregone home ownership and put that money toward it, but we didn't. We bought a place that would provide shelter for an ever-growing family.

Our investigation led us to feel that one day we might adopt a couple of elementary-aged kids who have been in the county system for a while, but that it wouldn't be a great idea right now, with Benjamin so little and all. We did discover, and this is the exciting part, that it is possible to foster exclusively babies and toddlers. We are joining Angels Network.

Through Angels, we will be fostering with the goal of reunifying the child with his or her family. The truth is, however, around 50% of their "long term" placements (4 months or longer) end up being released for adoption. This is sad - it means that the parents and their extended family could not pull it together enough to keep the child. But it's happy as well - the child will be in a stable loving home for that year or so, and the foster family has the first choice in adopting the child.

In either case, we are thrilled to have the opportunity to minister to a child this way. It may be that we care for two or three children before one becomes available for us to adopt. But that's OK. I am learning to trust God's timing.

Won't it be hard to give the child back, you ask? Probably. But this is where I have to say...am I going to let emotional hardship prevent me from loving and caring for a child who desperately needs it? I can't be that selfish. Of course it will be tough. But if God is leading us down this path, and we believe He is, then He will provide the strength for us to give the child back to his mother. It really is that simple. Perspective works wonders.

This week we must complete our application form. We start foster certification classes next week. They will last for about two months. We can drop out at any point, but based on our feelings after the orientation session, I doubt we'll want to. Hearing about the program only got us all fired up. We were grinning the whole 25-minute drive home.

I'll keep you all posted! Whether pregnancy or fostering enter our lives next, you'll hear about it!

Fertility, Fostering, and the Future of Our Family, Part I

How scary is that blog title?

It's time to catch ya'll up on The P-Pod's family stuff, for those of you interested in our mysterious inability to have biological children and our journey to grow a family anyway.

I can't remember what I've posted in the past on our journey to adoption, so here's some of the background:

The Papa and I have been married nearly seven years. (You can wish us Happy Anniversary on July 13th). "The Pill" was only a part of our relationship for the first year of our marriage when we were living in Ethiopia and I was afraid to get pregnant while repeatedly shacking up with parasites and worms and amoebas that required ridiculous amounts of medication to eradicate from my body. I know locals get pregnant all the time without concern. I think a lot of those folks have learned to live with their parasites. I am still too American to accept such creatures inhabiting my body, thus the consumption of toxic substances.

So when we returned to the States, we said goodbye to The Pill and all the other pills. I was not totally ready to be pregnant, though, and was often relieved when each month revealed I was not. That lasted for a while. The Papa is a good four years older than me (presently pushing 40!) and was more eager to have a family and buy a minivan. Secretly, I did not feel ready to give up working professionally or living the lifestyle we had. We were happy DINKs.

But while in Albany, I started coming around. We began to pay attention to all the things you're supposed to pay attention to when trying to conceive. A year later, no baby. Doctor visits, multiple tests and whatnot later, no answers. There was a beautiful, new, state-of-the-art fertility clinic in town. People came from miles around to get answers and get pregnant. Our insurance covered certain treatments there. So we did two rounds of Chlomid (a drug that boosts hormones and egg production or whatever to help the woman's body be super-ready) and IUD (putting The Papa's junk into the right place at the right time). I gave myself shots and had to do other stuff that grossed me out and will not be detailed in this blog.

Each month, no baby. No answers. We were perfectly healthy specimens with no apparent deficiencies.

All along the way, I had felt like one day I would adopt. But I really thought it would be a more organic process. The Papa and I met in Africa. We went back to Africa. And I was pretty sure that one day in our future, we would return to Africa. So, in my imagination, I thought we would go on and have our family of whatever size, but that upon our return to Africa we would fall in love with some orphaned children and absorb them into our family. One, three, six, whatever.

I could not imagine that we would have to be so intentional and that it would be so much work. I did not anticipate that adoption would be the primary way, possibly the only way, to add children to our family.

So, as we traveled down the road guided by the fertility clinic, we had to make some decisions. For one, I totally do not feel comfortable with more aggressive ways of dealing with infertility. I would never hire a surrogate mother. I flat out think that is weird, and for $50,000 or whatever it costs, I would rather rescue a few children already in the world. I do not need a child who looks like me that badly. I almost feel that it's narcissistic - and yet I'm sure that sounds so judgmental. So uncompassionate towards someone else's struggle.

But my worldview just doesn't see it that way. I can only see it as unnatural, full of human control, and very self-absorbed.

Likewise, I do not feel comfortable with in-vitro fertilization (IVF) - the "test-tube baby" approach. I can't help but think, due to my faith and the way I see God's role in our lives, that if it is that hard to get pregnant, God intended something else for me. Obviously, in a world unflawed by sin our bodies would work perfectly as they were designed - no cancer, no allergies, no neuropathy, no mental illness, no cerebral palsy, no pimples, and no infertility.

But the world is flawed. And God continues to work in and through those flaws. And he allows challenges in our lives on purpose. The Papa and I are not dealing with this by accident. It's not like God was surprised by the fact that our bodies are not doing what they're supposed to.

So. The Papa and I started looking into adoption. At first we were going to go the international route. We looked at pictures online of waiting children. We considered which countries we might go for...yes on Brazil, and Ethiopia, and Nepal. No on Guatemala and Eastern European countries. Maybe on China (Papa was feeling it, I was not). I watched the movie City of God and was convinced that we were being led to Brazil.

The agency we were recommended to only offered China and some Eastern European countries but was starting a Brazil program. They only had a test couple going through the process at that time and were waiting to see how that went before offering it as an option. It fell through and we were back again to making foundational decisions.

The China debate arose again, when suddenly, a family at our church that was seeking a domestic adoption, got hooked up with a birthmom through our agency. Word on the street was that there were actually multiple women inquiring and more babies than usual coming up as possibilities. We were under the impression previously that going domestic meant a ridiculously long wait. With this news, we reconsidered domestic adoption and this eventually became our choice.

I believe that God wanted our lives to intersect with Benjamin and his birthparents. If we had been able to have biological children right off the bat we would never have been at that agency at that time. Emma would have been searching for adoptive parents elsewhere. Benjamin would now be living in very different circumstances. Details of how this came to be have me convinced that this is exactly the story God had written for Emma, Benjamin, and us. If I had tried to manipulate our bodies into submission through science, either the attempts would have failed anyway, or they would have worked and we would have missed the beauty of Benjamin. I don't even want to think of it. (Besides, I hate hospitals, shots, and taking unnecessary drugs. I shudder to think of what all that would have entailed. Far worse, in my mind, than the birth pains of adoption.)

With Benjamin well on his way to his second year of life, we find ourselves facing this decision again. Fostering has now entered our vocabulary.

Click here for Part II.

Fish Face

Egads. Is it really June already? Where did May go, anyway?

Let's start off the month of marine layer haze (otherwise known as "gloom") with a fresh marine face. What you see below is what I was looking at for most of the morning.


Little P figured out how to make a fish face, which is particularly amusing because neither The Papa nor I make this face at him. I cannot speak to what occurs at Grandma's house, however. Grandma lets him put his fingers in her glass of iced tea. It can only get worse from there.

Until bedding down for an early nap, thus interfering with Mama's plans for going to the gym, he ran around making this face and attempting to escape from whatever I was attempting to entice him to do.

Incidentally, one of my dearest friends enticed a man using exactly this sort of pescaface while hitting the internet dating scene. She not only enticed him out on a date, she managed to marry him and produce two children with him, the latest one (sweet Zoe) arriving a mere week ago. Enticing, indeed.

I'm thinking the fish face has potential and it's a great idea that Little P learns to make it early in his life.