Let me be clear, I adore Kid Sunshine and Bright Eyes. A-DORE them. Nonetheless, when I fix my eyes on other tasks, no matter how meaningful or inane, I can slip into the attitude that the kiddos are nuisances. They simply don't behave the way I need them to: pooping at inconvenient times, needing a snuggle when I am in the middle of crafting an amazing sentence for an article, squawking when I need them to sit quietly as I interview someone, dragging feet so-very-slowly through the supermarket and clogging up the narrow aisles with tantrums over who is going to put the almond milk in the cart...
I will always, ALWAYS need practice in patience and in seeing these dear little people in my care as the most important thing of every moment.
This does not mean that we run a child-centric household (in the sense that we cater to all the child's whims and desires), but it does mean that teaching, training, and loving these children must never get lost in our pursuit of other interests. And training a child requires so much dang time.
- It requires coaching a child through his emotions, rather than yelling at him or sending him to his room (unless, of course, some "calm-down" time is needed).
- It requires endless patience with manners - "I'm sorry, I don't understand what you want when you make that whining sound." "I'd be happy to get that for a boy who asks politely." "As a family, we all clean up our dishes after we eat. What do you need to do with your plate?" "I would love to play with you once you have washed your hands and face." "Hmmm....I see a light on in the bathroom and no one is in there. What do you think should be done about that?"
- It requires self-control - meaning that I can no longer throw my own tantrums.
- It requires teaching a child to think for himself, rather then always telling him what to do...and goodness, that requires an awful lot of thought about how to word the simplest request.
- It requires answering as many "why" questions as you can tolerate before your brain explodes - for these questions really do lead a child to learning about the world around him.
In the midst of all of this, I am attempting to add some exciting and healthy things back into my life.
1.) I have started exercising again. Some people say - oh, you look fine...why do you need to be so serious about this? Well, here's the deal, folks. Before Benjamin, I was a size 4. I was fit. I did triathlons from time to time. Six months ago, I bought size 8 pants. I have spent the last two years feeling chronically fatigued. I even asked the doctor to draw blood and find something wrong with me so I could find a treatment and start feeling better. She discovered nothing.
So I joined a program where I am working out six days a week and eating well - tracking everything I eat, actually, with myfitnesspal.com (it's free!). No more quesadillas at 10 pm, or lunches of a cheese stick and homemade popcorn. No more skipping meals until I am dizzy with hunger. No more consuming 1,500 calories of junk food at a party, because, what the hay? It's a party!
It's a total pain in the neck, but you know what? I have lost six pounds in five weeks (all fat - I have gained lean mass). I have removed the size 8 pants from my closet. And while I really like what's going on with my appearance, I am more pleased with how I FEEL. My sleep is more effective. I have more patience and emotional constancy. I have energy! I am a better mama and wife.
I skipped into the kitchen the other day and said something funny to The Papa. His response: "What happened to my crabby wife?" It felt good to assure him that she was gone forever. (Well, I may still have crabby moments, but no more crabby days...)
As someone who has been reasonably fit for most of my life, I had no idea that diet and exercise could affect this much of a person's outlook on life. And now I can say to anyone looking for a medical reason for their ailments - start with exercise and nutrition. You have to start there. You may need more than that, but at least get this in line first.
2.) I have started writing for a local magazine. This has completely whet my appetite for getting back into the business of writing. It's not just writing, as I have a love-hate relationship with the act itself, but the running around and meeting people. Interviewing folks and learning their stories. Piecing together information in order to present a more complete picture. Researching a topic. Pitching creative ideas to an editor. Thinking on the marriage of text and design.
This is just a little publication right now, but it has tremendous potential, and I believe that my involvement is going to be key to its growth. (Too much backstory to fill in here - I'm not being presumptuous.) It's very exciting.
Of course, this makes a mama's schedule more complicated.
I have mostly been working while Benjamin is at preschool. Sadie accompanies me on interviews, attached to my back in the Baby Ergo, or occasionally sleeping in her car seat. Once she woke up hungry while I was interviewing a chef and would not stop wailing. It was only a 15-minute interview, thank goodness. And he was very accommodating. (Hello, professionalism!)
3.) I am volunteering with ThinkGrand.org, a grassroots movement that is trying to support civic goings-on in Escondido with greater positivity. This is a funny town - people are so polarized in their views, and those who are loudest are retired and often rude. I am attempting to learn how things work in this town - the politics, the local business associations, the bureaucracy, and the who's who-s. My hope is that I can start some in-home meetings with younger folks and their friends to explain how they can get involved in local matters of import, and stimulate interest and willingness to show up to things like city council meetings, being informed voters, volunteering in the community, and improving local businesses.
So this keeps me busy. The Papa and I have organized a bike ride in the downtown/central area in a couple of weeks. We plan to hit some interesting and historical places and give out a little information, point out some cool businesses that are not well-known, and get people out of their cars for a bit.
With all this energy, I keep adding to my list of things to do and this poor blog has suffered. But I will keep trying to update! Thank you for your patience, dear ones!
