Every night Benjamin curls up in my arms for his last few minutes before going to bed for the night. Actually, this ritual occurs for naps as well. And with that little lump of sweetness in my arms I sing "Dona Nobis Pacem" - my version of a lullaby (it is really a Latin hymn of sorts, I believe). I have been doing this since I brought him home.
The beautiful thing about this ritual is that now I can sing the song and get a Pavlovian response...Benjamin hears the tune and within about ten seconds, his eyes close halfway, then blink ever so slowly; he rolls his tongue around in his mouth; he yawns deeply, again and again. And then, his limp self falls into sleep.
What is funny is that I now sing this to him when he is upset in the middle of the day. Even when it is not nap time, he will stop crying, blink, smack his lips, yawn, and relax. Sweet! This is the handiest ritual in the P-Pod routine.
May 28, 2008
Let's Not Wear Him Down
Emma was talking about trying to find strong, grounded women within today's Christian community, and it caused me to think about Annie Dillard's writing (although she is not exactly grounded, herself, her writing is). In reflection, I ran across this quote. I don't know which work it is from, and I hope it is accurate as it showed up on one of those quote Web sites.
.............................................................................
"No child on earth was ever meant to be ordinary, and you can see it in them, and they know it, too, but then the times get to them, and they wear out their brains learning what folks expect, and spend their strength trying to rise over those same folks." Annie Dillard
May we never wear Benjamin out. May we guide him when he needs it, stand by his side when he is learning to take the lead, and step away when he is ready to adventure on his own. I have no doubt that God has great work for him to do.
.............................................................................
"No child on earth was ever meant to be ordinary, and you can see it in them, and they know it, too, but then the times get to them, and they wear out their brains learning what folks expect, and spend their strength trying to rise over those same folks." Annie Dillard
May we never wear Benjamin out. May we guide him when he needs it, stand by his side when he is learning to take the lead, and step away when he is ready to adventure on his own. I have no doubt that God has great work for him to do.
May 27, 2008
Go West, Young Man
This announcement is long past due: The P family is moving back to California from whence they came. We've been in a state of reevaluation now that we have a child. It's harder than ever to live so far from at least one of our families, and we want Benjamin to know his extended family intimately. Thus, on June 27th we will be squeezing into the cab of a hired truck (two adults, a baby in a car seat, and a 25 pound dog) and following the sun. Fortunately for me and the 25-pounds-and-under crowd, we will disbark in Cleveland, spend a few days with the Gulan clan (Brent's mother's family), and hop a plane for the rest of the journey to our new home on Circle Drive. (Generic name, not a Dove Street home, for sure.) Brent is brother-napping his bro and bro-in-law to share the driving load.
But enough about the logistics. Let's daydream about the positive elements of moving to an area that has significantly less history, seasonal beauty, rainfall, and architectural character than our present neighborhood...because these are, indeed, difficult things to leave behind.
For one, I'm looking forward most of all to living by the fam. My sisters and I take sisterhood quite seriously. We are already plotting for Rosie (the artist and bird girl) and I to work together decorating and making cool wall art for both Benjamin's room and Rosie's bird room (yes, a room dedicated to her Cockatoo and Green Mealie Parrot...did I get that right?). We want to do everything with no-VOC paint and eco-friendly materials, partly for the environment, and partly for the benefits in air quality and the supposed reduction in possible allergens and chemicals that produce funky effects in the bodies of delicate creatures such as birds and babies.
I also envision joining Rebekah at her kickboxing class, and adding a sisterly jaunt to the yoga loft once or twice a week. Rebekah is a fine foodie and cook, as is my mom, so there will be many family gatherings around the dining table for us all. My mom is taking this grandma business to a whole new level which means lots of fun for Benjamin and me.
Four of my cousins gave birth to boys in the past year, and I am looking forward to spending time with all of them. I think it would be great if Benjamin could know his cousins as brothers with lots of opportunites for us all to rock climb and camp together. Maybe one of his second cousins (is that what my cousin would be to him?) will teach him to surf one day. Just imagine the teen years with all those boys...
I also can't wait to garden. The growing season is so much longer in Southern California. When we looked at houses, one of my criteria was a large enough lot to have a significant food garden. We have room for fruit trees (navel oranges and apples are at the top of the list!), corn, beans and potatoes, onions, tomatoes, lettuces, strawberries, blackberries, and more...along with little beds where herbs and roses would fit perfectly. I am doing my homework so that I can do this organically and with a rain barrel and any other possible graywater I can harvest, and I hope to fertilize it with my own compost pile. My goal is also to learn more about native and drought-tolerant plants so that all other landscaping on the property can allow us to be responsible consumers of water in this desert land. Brent is already fixin' to take the 20 Gallon Challenge...and that will be tough with cloth diapers in the house.
Speaking of cloth diapers - this may be silly, but I can't wait to have a clothesline and the weather to hang those diapers out any time of the year!
Back to the garden...I have sent a little proposal to the women in my family about establishing our own personal food co-op. It would be really fun (and less expensive, and organic, and better quality) for us to divide up the things we want (fresh fruit and veggies, homemade whole grain bread, chickens and eggs, homemade soap, and so on) and each become producers of one or more of these products. We will then be able to get together once a week and split the week's harvest. I am particularly interested in this suburban homesteading approach when I hear reports of things like cloned animal meat on its way to our supermarkets. Call me suspicious, but it just ain't natural. I slaughtered my own free-range chickens in Zimbabwe, and I'll do it again.
Let's see...Brent is totally looking forward to mountain biking again. Our new house is about three miles from Daley Ranch, or "daily" ranch as Brent like to call it, an awesome preserve with trails for hiking and biking. We are a couple miles from Brent's job, my folks, and each of my sisters, as well as the downtown strip (coffee and yogurt shops, delis, and antique dealers...this is Escondido, folks). Biking, walking, and short excursions in our 1995 Toyota Camry (yes, we are towing it out there...it's paid off, why not?) will help us cope with the ridiculous economic future being predicted and $4+/gal fuel prices, as well as keep us healthy.
Brent already signed up for a half-marathon in August. I am still considering it. I might wait to sign up until I see how much babysitting becomes available so that I can get back to running regularly. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Actually, that's probably an excuse, so I'm going to pretend I'm not that self-aware.
The Sprinter recently completed contruction. We no longer have to drive to the beach. It does turn a 35-minute drive into a 53-minute ride, but that probably makes up for itself when you don't have to cruise around looking for parking. This means that Benjamin and I might be making several trips a week to the beach while Papa is at work. Shhhhhh.
What else, what else...? Oh, yes. We are greatly anticipating Brent's return to the family photography business. As operations manager, he will be able to use his strengths as a manager every day. We are also excited about the schedule - he will have more flexibility and freedom with less stress than he does as an educational leader. This means that we should be able to get out more often for camping trips, travel, and visits to family in Ohio. Top of the list? Mama P's family's cabin in the High Sierras, a beach house in Rosarito, and Buzzard Day in Hinckley, Ohio.
Now, our new house is kind of cool, in a modern (built in the '80s) architectural sort of way. The outside is nothing special - a typical stucco California split level with a red tile roof. Inside, however, there are high loft ceilings, a fantastic breeze, tons of natural light, and an open floorplan. A deck off the living room gives us 180 degree views of the valley and hills beyond. This should allow us to keep an eye on the wildfires next time they drop in on the area. (Rest assured our new neighborhood in securely in town - not on the fringes where most of the damage usually occurs.)
The backyard has a covered patio where we can put a couch and dining table. There is also a concrete and brick area where Benjamin can eventually ride his tricycle or walk around naked as he potty trains. We will terrace the dirt slope and plant fruit trees - space for Benjamin to run around and build a fort if he wants to.
We have some work to do as this house was both a) a foreclosure and uninhabited for a few months and b) previously owned by people who thought that painting every room a starkly different intense color was a good idea (curry-colored hall, royal blue bedroom with royal blue carpet, maroon bedroom, teal bedroom, black and white checkered kitchen). It's going to take about 19 coats of neutral paint to cover it. Pictures forthcoming.
Cheers to this record-length posting! I have been thinking about it for a while, but lacked the time to get it all down. So far I have packed about a dozen boxes and taken innumerable bags of stuff to the Capital City Rescue Mission.
For those in San Diego, we'll see you soon! To all others elsewhere, plan a visit!
**Special thanks to Brent's creative genius for thinking of the title for this post. He is now walking around declaring himself my editor. You be the judge.
But enough about the logistics. Let's daydream about the positive elements of moving to an area that has significantly less history, seasonal beauty, rainfall, and architectural character than our present neighborhood...because these are, indeed, difficult things to leave behind.
For one, I'm looking forward most of all to living by the fam. My sisters and I take sisterhood quite seriously. We are already plotting for Rosie (the artist and bird girl) and I to work together decorating and making cool wall art for both Benjamin's room and Rosie's bird room (yes, a room dedicated to her Cockatoo and Green Mealie Parrot...did I get that right?). We want to do everything with no-VOC paint and eco-friendly materials, partly for the environment, and partly for the benefits in air quality and the supposed reduction in possible allergens and chemicals that produce funky effects in the bodies of delicate creatures such as birds and babies.
I also envision joining Rebekah at her kickboxing class, and adding a sisterly jaunt to the yoga loft once or twice a week. Rebekah is a fine foodie and cook, as is my mom, so there will be many family gatherings around the dining table for us all. My mom is taking this grandma business to a whole new level which means lots of fun for Benjamin and me.
Four of my cousins gave birth to boys in the past year, and I am looking forward to spending time with all of them. I think it would be great if Benjamin could know his cousins as brothers with lots of opportunites for us all to rock climb and camp together. Maybe one of his second cousins (is that what my cousin would be to him?) will teach him to surf one day. Just imagine the teen years with all those boys...
I also can't wait to garden. The growing season is so much longer in Southern California. When we looked at houses, one of my criteria was a large enough lot to have a significant food garden. We have room for fruit trees (navel oranges and apples are at the top of the list!), corn, beans and potatoes, onions, tomatoes, lettuces, strawberries, blackberries, and more...along with little beds where herbs and roses would fit perfectly. I am doing my homework so that I can do this organically and with a rain barrel and any other possible graywater I can harvest, and I hope to fertilize it with my own compost pile. My goal is also to learn more about native and drought-tolerant plants so that all other landscaping on the property can allow us to be responsible consumers of water in this desert land. Brent is already fixin' to take the 20 Gallon Challenge...and that will be tough with cloth diapers in the house.
Speaking of cloth diapers - this may be silly, but I can't wait to have a clothesline and the weather to hang those diapers out any time of the year!
Back to the garden...I have sent a little proposal to the women in my family about establishing our own personal food co-op. It would be really fun (and less expensive, and organic, and better quality) for us to divide up the things we want (fresh fruit and veggies, homemade whole grain bread, chickens and eggs, homemade soap, and so on) and each become producers of one or more of these products. We will then be able to get together once a week and split the week's harvest. I am particularly interested in this suburban homesteading approach when I hear reports of things like cloned animal meat on its way to our supermarkets. Call me suspicious, but it just ain't natural. I slaughtered my own free-range chickens in Zimbabwe, and I'll do it again.
Let's see...Brent is totally looking forward to mountain biking again. Our new house is about three miles from Daley Ranch, or "daily" ranch as Brent like to call it, an awesome preserve with trails for hiking and biking. We are a couple miles from Brent's job, my folks, and each of my sisters, as well as the downtown strip (coffee and yogurt shops, delis, and antique dealers...this is Escondido, folks). Biking, walking, and short excursions in our 1995 Toyota Camry (yes, we are towing it out there...it's paid off, why not?) will help us cope with the ridiculous economic future being predicted and $4+/gal fuel prices, as well as keep us healthy.
Brent already signed up for a half-marathon in August. I am still considering it. I might wait to sign up until I see how much babysitting becomes available so that I can get back to running regularly. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Actually, that's probably an excuse, so I'm going to pretend I'm not that self-aware.
The Sprinter recently completed contruction. We no longer have to drive to the beach. It does turn a 35-minute drive into a 53-minute ride, but that probably makes up for itself when you don't have to cruise around looking for parking. This means that Benjamin and I might be making several trips a week to the beach while Papa is at work. Shhhhhh.
What else, what else...? Oh, yes. We are greatly anticipating Brent's return to the family photography business. As operations manager, he will be able to use his strengths as a manager every day. We are also excited about the schedule - he will have more flexibility and freedom with less stress than he does as an educational leader. This means that we should be able to get out more often for camping trips, travel, and visits to family in Ohio. Top of the list? Mama P's family's cabin in the High Sierras, a beach house in Rosarito, and Buzzard Day in Hinckley, Ohio.
Now, our new house is kind of cool, in a modern (built in the '80s) architectural sort of way. The outside is nothing special - a typical stucco California split level with a red tile roof. Inside, however, there are high loft ceilings, a fantastic breeze, tons of natural light, and an open floorplan. A deck off the living room gives us 180 degree views of the valley and hills beyond. This should allow us to keep an eye on the wildfires next time they drop in on the area. (Rest assured our new neighborhood in securely in town - not on the fringes where most of the damage usually occurs.)
The backyard has a covered patio where we can put a couch and dining table. There is also a concrete and brick area where Benjamin can eventually ride his tricycle or walk around naked as he potty trains. We will terrace the dirt slope and plant fruit trees - space for Benjamin to run around and build a fort if he wants to.
We have some work to do as this house was both a) a foreclosure and uninhabited for a few months and b) previously owned by people who thought that painting every room a starkly different intense color was a good idea (curry-colored hall, royal blue bedroom with royal blue carpet, maroon bedroom, teal bedroom, black and white checkered kitchen). It's going to take about 19 coats of neutral paint to cover it. Pictures forthcoming.
Cheers to this record-length posting! I have been thinking about it for a while, but lacked the time to get it all down. So far I have packed about a dozen boxes and taken innumerable bags of stuff to the Capital City Rescue Mission.
For those in San Diego, we'll see you soon! To all others elsewhere, plan a visit!
**Special thanks to Brent's creative genius for thinking of the title for this post. He is now walking around declaring himself my editor. You be the judge.
May 24, 2008
Hair and There
Big boy hair has begun its arrival on the smooth runway of Benjamin's scalp. It's been some time since his hair fell out, and he is now becoming quite fuzzy...so fuzzy, in fact, that both Brent and I catch ourselves rubbing his head over and over again just because it feels good. All the hairs are teeny tiny, so fine, but there are thousands of them. His hair will likely be thick when it all comes in.
Expect to see Benjamin sans hat in photos over the coming months. Right now, you can't tell the difference in a photo, so you'll have to take our word for it. But soon...
Expect to see Benjamin sans hat in photos over the coming months. Right now, you can't tell the difference in a photo, so you'll have to take our word for it. But soon...
May 20, 2008
Benjamin and Friends
My friend Stacey babysat Benjamin last week and took this fun shot of him with the hanging animals of his bouncy chair. It was so cool, I thought I'd share!
May 18, 2008
No Southpaw in this Northern Town
In his early days, it appeared that Benjamin favored using his left hand, and I honestly believed he would grow into a lefty. Now that he is much more dextrous, however, his right hand has become the clear leader.Here Benjamin tries to spin the colorful doohicky on his Bebepod. (I love this little chair more and more each day!) Check out which hand he always uses!
May 15, 2008
Back Stories on the Adoption Journey
Many people have asked me to share our story of adoption. Why did we choose to adopt? Could we have children? What's the process like? Why domestic over international? Why such an open arrangement...isn't that hard? What are the birthparents like? How are you going to talk to Benjamin about his adoption? And so on.
When I talk to people personally, I am able to share parts of our story openly - usually specific to the interests of the person asking me questions. But the story in totality, with all its complexity, all its layers of joy and grief and resentment and frustration and redemption and love...well, that is a tale that is going to take me a while to put into writing. Right now I am living in the present and the somewhat near future. Sometimes I find that it's dinner time and I forgot that there is nothing in the fridge to make - we ran out of vegetables yesterday, and our only source of protein is tofu, which I don't like making because it takes time and planning to turn into anything tasty. So, to tell the story with maturity and insight beyond the mere relation of details is a little beyond my scope at the moment.
In the mean time, I want to share my friend Karen's blog with you. We talked and she said that she did not begin to write it down until nearly a year into her life with her adopted son Braden. Braden will be entering preschool soon, and she just started a blog where she posted her story. So I am inspired that I will get to it eventually.
Karen gave me permission to share this with you until I can get our story written down. The details are in many cases so very different: we did not have any miscarriages or apparent physical concerns related to infertility (we just were not getting pregnant after four years off birth control and everything reproductive checked out fine), Emma and Kevin are not teenagers, how things went down at the hospital were quite different, an adoption is irreversible in Portland after 48 hours...it takes 30 days in New York.
What I have discovered in talking with other adoptive parents is that EVERYBODY'S journey has been tough, for whatever reasons. It may be the infertility issue that is so sensitive. It may be the time spent in another country, paying bribes to get your previously-orphaned child home safely. It may be the incredible financial expense. It may be the lack of support or understanding from those nearest you. It may be the rejection from a birthparent or the walking out of a hospital where you just spent two days at the birthother's beck and call - empty handed. It may be the struggles that result with a spouse or the anger at God for choosing this path for you. It may be the "selling" of yourself to a birthparent - the revelation of every cranny of your life in order to prove that you will be a good parent. Every adoptive parent has to overcome incredible challenges in order to bring that child into the home.
And, every adoptive parent is grateful and would never go back. For in all the stories we find grace and healing. Not everything is made perfect, but the old stuff becomes more OK. It pales in comparison to a child's smile and eyes looking up at you with love and admiration.
Despite the difference in details, the emotions and underlying truths are the same: the questions, the rejection, the acceptance, the tentative joy, the numbness, the going through the motions, the awkward encounters prior to taking the baby home, the wonder, the addition of family, the love, the bonding, the grace, the hope with a future. I wanted to share her story so that you would have a glimpse into the themes we have experienced ourselves.
Click here for Karen's story. Be prepared - you might want a tissue handy. Even with already knowing so much of her story, my eyes teared up when I read it in writing. Enjoy.
When I talk to people personally, I am able to share parts of our story openly - usually specific to the interests of the person asking me questions. But the story in totality, with all its complexity, all its layers of joy and grief and resentment and frustration and redemption and love...well, that is a tale that is going to take me a while to put into writing. Right now I am living in the present and the somewhat near future. Sometimes I find that it's dinner time and I forgot that there is nothing in the fridge to make - we ran out of vegetables yesterday, and our only source of protein is tofu, which I don't like making because it takes time and planning to turn into anything tasty. So, to tell the story with maturity and insight beyond the mere relation of details is a little beyond my scope at the moment.
In the mean time, I want to share my friend Karen's blog with you. We talked and she said that she did not begin to write it down until nearly a year into her life with her adopted son Braden. Braden will be entering preschool soon, and she just started a blog where she posted her story. So I am inspired that I will get to it eventually.
Karen gave me permission to share this with you until I can get our story written down. The details are in many cases so very different: we did not have any miscarriages or apparent physical concerns related to infertility (we just were not getting pregnant after four years off birth control and everything reproductive checked out fine), Emma and Kevin are not teenagers, how things went down at the hospital were quite different, an adoption is irreversible in Portland after 48 hours...it takes 30 days in New York.
What I have discovered in talking with other adoptive parents is that EVERYBODY'S journey has been tough, for whatever reasons. It may be the infertility issue that is so sensitive. It may be the time spent in another country, paying bribes to get your previously-orphaned child home safely. It may be the incredible financial expense. It may be the lack of support or understanding from those nearest you. It may be the rejection from a birthparent or the walking out of a hospital where you just spent two days at the birthother's beck and call - empty handed. It may be the struggles that result with a spouse or the anger at God for choosing this path for you. It may be the "selling" of yourself to a birthparent - the revelation of every cranny of your life in order to prove that you will be a good parent. Every adoptive parent has to overcome incredible challenges in order to bring that child into the home.
And, every adoptive parent is grateful and would never go back. For in all the stories we find grace and healing. Not everything is made perfect, but the old stuff becomes more OK. It pales in comparison to a child's smile and eyes looking up at you with love and admiration.
Despite the difference in details, the emotions and underlying truths are the same: the questions, the rejection, the acceptance, the tentative joy, the numbness, the going through the motions, the awkward encounters prior to taking the baby home, the wonder, the addition of family, the love, the bonding, the grace, the hope with a future. I wanted to share her story so that you would have a glimpse into the themes we have experienced ourselves.
Click here for Karen's story. Be prepared - you might want a tissue handy. Even with already knowing so much of her story, my eyes teared up when I read it in writing. Enjoy.
May 13, 2008
How 'bout if I punch YOU between the eyes?
Benjamin's birth mark has not concerned me thus far. The doctor said it will fade and I believe him. And even if it doesn't, he's a beautiful boy. I figure that if it doesn't fade, we can let our imaginations run wild and create an interesting story about it. After all, Harry Potter's mark made him special. And most superheroes have a mark that makes them different or gives them special powers. We can be as imaginative as we want to be.
Now this mark really changes shades. In the obvious way, it gets darker when he's upset and lighter when he's calm. But there are also days when, for no explicable reason, it's very dark...or barely visible. So often, people don't notice it much, and occasionally people are surprised by it because they never noticed it before.
There is this one guy in the neighborhood, though, who always comments on it. This guy is a college professor, and someone I used to respect. (I have other reasons, besides the story I have yet to present, for my waning interest in this fellow.) The first time this guy (let's call him Henry) saw Benjamin, he asked VERY LOUDLY in a room full of people, "Wow - have you been punching him in the forehead?!" Er, no. I explained. That's just a birthmark and will fade with time. Let's chalk that one up to the wine he was drinking, or to roughly expressed curiosity, or to his not being a parent himself.
The next time Henry saw Benjamin, he leaned in close to look at Benjamin's forehead and asked: "What's wrong with his face?" Well, I explained, that's a birthmark that will probably go away as he gets older. He had no comment, but he kept staring at him until I passed Benjamin off to some adoring grandma-types.
The last time we saw Henry, he leaned down so that his face was right in front of Benjamin's and said: "You look like you got punched between the eyes." He appeared to be trying to make Benjamin feel bad - as if he could understand and needed to be told that something was wrong with him. I asked him why he would say something like that, but he didn't hear me, I guess. We were in a room full of people and Brent was holding Benjamin, so I decided not to make a big deal about it.
I think the next time he says something like that, I'm going to punch HIM between the eyes!
Now this mark really changes shades. In the obvious way, it gets darker when he's upset and lighter when he's calm. But there are also days when, for no explicable reason, it's very dark...or barely visible. So often, people don't notice it much, and occasionally people are surprised by it because they never noticed it before.
There is this one guy in the neighborhood, though, who always comments on it. This guy is a college professor, and someone I used to respect. (I have other reasons, besides the story I have yet to present, for my waning interest in this fellow.) The first time this guy (let's call him Henry) saw Benjamin, he asked VERY LOUDLY in a room full of people, "Wow - have you been punching him in the forehead?!" Er, no. I explained. That's just a birthmark and will fade with time. Let's chalk that one up to the wine he was drinking, or to roughly expressed curiosity, or to his not being a parent himself.
The next time Henry saw Benjamin, he leaned in close to look at Benjamin's forehead and asked: "What's wrong with his face?" Well, I explained, that's a birthmark that will probably go away as he gets older. He had no comment, but he kept staring at him until I passed Benjamin off to some adoring grandma-types.
The last time we saw Henry, he leaned down so that his face was right in front of Benjamin's and said: "You look like you got punched between the eyes." He appeared to be trying to make Benjamin feel bad - as if he could understand and needed to be told that something was wrong with him. I asked him why he would say something like that, but he didn't hear me, I guess. We were in a room full of people and Brent was holding Benjamin, so I decided not to make a big deal about it.
I think the next time he says something like that, I'm going to punch HIM between the eyes!
For those who like statistics...
Benjamin visited the pediatrician today and got three more shots, for which he shrieked the danger cry for a solid five minutes. He also glared at the nurse long after the shots occurred - I think he pays attention to who it is causing him pain. He does this when I put the teething oil on his gums and suddenly the pain and anger become personal (he HATES the it, but it works for teething discomfort).
Now for the statistics (because people have actually asked this of me): Benjamin's head size is in the 75th percentile. His weight is in the 70th percentile. And his height? The 25th percentile. So, he's a bit of a fullback. But the doc said that he wasn't obese. "Well-nourished" he said, but not unhealthy. He did recommend we reduce his intake by substituting a certain amount of water for formula throughout the day, or by starting him on rice cereal which is lower in calories than formula. I'm going to wait a month on the cereal due to his "sensitive" gastrointestinal nature, but I will cut back on the formula a bit.
He also said that while his intake was greater than recommended for his age he was an exceptionally active baby, so he seemed to be burning most of it off. He wasn't worried about his weight, but wanted to make sure there wasn't anything to worry about in the future.
Benjamin's legs were greatly admired during this visit - very strong and straight, probably due to all his jumping in the jumper. Several nurses mentioned that his neck seemed exceptionally strong for a four-month-old as his head didn't really wobble. Again, I credit the jumper - I started him in it for short amounts of time before I think he was technically ready for it. I just felt that he wouldn't get strong unless he was in situations that would demand strength from him. I wasn't able to provide that myself, so I employed the jumper. In about two weeks, he made incredible progress. Which brings us to the comments we heard today.
The doctor also mentioned that the mark between Benjamin's eyes (I can't remember what he called it, but I call it a birthmark) could last until he's two years old, but it would likely fade about that time. I'm not worried about it because I think he's a beautiful child with or without it, however, he will likely do better socially in school with fewer things to get teased about. (See the next entry for idiotic comments by an adult.)
So Benjamin is a strong, healthy boy who needs to eat slightly less than he has been eating. And he sure hates immunizations!
Now for the statistics (because people have actually asked this of me): Benjamin's head size is in the 75th percentile. His weight is in the 70th percentile. And his height? The 25th percentile. So, he's a bit of a fullback. But the doc said that he wasn't obese. "Well-nourished" he said, but not unhealthy. He did recommend we reduce his intake by substituting a certain amount of water for formula throughout the day, or by starting him on rice cereal which is lower in calories than formula. I'm going to wait a month on the cereal due to his "sensitive" gastrointestinal nature, but I will cut back on the formula a bit.
He also said that while his intake was greater than recommended for his age he was an exceptionally active baby, so he seemed to be burning most of it off. He wasn't worried about his weight, but wanted to make sure there wasn't anything to worry about in the future.
Benjamin's legs were greatly admired during this visit - very strong and straight, probably due to all his jumping in the jumper. Several nurses mentioned that his neck seemed exceptionally strong for a four-month-old as his head didn't really wobble. Again, I credit the jumper - I started him in it for short amounts of time before I think he was technically ready for it. I just felt that he wouldn't get strong unless he was in situations that would demand strength from him. I wasn't able to provide that myself, so I employed the jumper. In about two weeks, he made incredible progress. Which brings us to the comments we heard today.
The doctor also mentioned that the mark between Benjamin's eyes (I can't remember what he called it, but I call it a birthmark) could last until he's two years old, but it would likely fade about that time. I'm not worried about it because I think he's a beautiful child with or without it, however, he will likely do better socially in school with fewer things to get teased about. (See the next entry for idiotic comments by an adult.)
So Benjamin is a strong, healthy boy who needs to eat slightly less than he has been eating. And he sure hates immunizations!
May 10, 2008
One New Baby, Two New Mothers
With this whole Mother's Day thing, I was thinking about how one little guy entered the world, and his birth created two new mothers. That's a beautiful twist on motherhood, I think.
Because I have no idea what it was like carrying him around in my womb, and because Emma did such a great job of it, I want to take a moment to honor her - Happy Mother's Day, Emma! Benjamin will not retain those days in his conscious memory, but when he is old enough to really comprehend what adoption means, he will be grateful to her - for giving him life, for being healthy so that he could be healthy, for loving him as he grew from a few cells to an actual child functioning independently from her body.
And, with his birth, I became a mother. Another weirdly beautiful thing - to hold a child not of my flesh and to love him as if he were. To commit to him completely, and to overcome my own selfishness in order to sacrifice for his growth.
Just a few thought on this first Mother's Day for two of us...
Because I have no idea what it was like carrying him around in my womb, and because Emma did such a great job of it, I want to take a moment to honor her - Happy Mother's Day, Emma! Benjamin will not retain those days in his conscious memory, but when he is old enough to really comprehend what adoption means, he will be grateful to her - for giving him life, for being healthy so that he could be healthy, for loving him as he grew from a few cells to an actual child functioning independently from her body.
And, with his birth, I became a mother. Another weirdly beautiful thing - to hold a child not of my flesh and to love him as if he were. To commit to him completely, and to overcome my own selfishness in order to sacrifice for his growth.
Just a few thought on this first Mother's Day for two of us...
What's New with Mr. Goo
Benjamin has hit a few more milestones recently. Here's a rundown of his skills, not including numchucks yet.
* Sitting up in his BebePod chair - yes, I posted a photo a while back, but it really is recent that he's learned to do this on his own without me continually pushing him back into place.
* Jumping around in his suspended-from-the-doorjam jumper - also captured in a photograph, but I tell you, he can really boogie in that thing now. His legs are getting super strong! Sometimes he even looks a little ballerina-esque...when he jumps up his toes point and his ankles flutter out and back again. Rebekah, what is that move called?
* Drooling like a salamander - ok, I don't know if salamanders drool, but I think of them as perpetually wet and slimy - and that pretty much describes the upper half of Benjamin these days. I suppose drooling like okra might work as well...okra most definitely does not drool, but it produces the slimiest substance I've ever experienced.
* Laughing - He started laughing occasionally a while ago, but he laughs daily now. This is my favorite skill.
* Holding his head up - he consistently does this in all kinds of circumstances and positions.
* Propping himself up on his elbows when on his belly - see the Washington Park pics for proof.
* Pushing his chest up by extending his arms while on his belly - this happens way less often, as he's just started doing it...but he can!
* Saying "mama" - I'm not entirely sure that he knows he's referring to me when he says it, but I think he does. It usually happens like this: Benjamin is crying and then he calls out "mamamama" and looks at me. Readers? Ya think?
* Becoming interested in the computer screen - uh-oh. Looks like Mama will have to stop watching internet TV during feeding times if she's going to set a good example!
* Sucking his thumb - he now deliberately and purposefully inserts his thumb into his mouth...in between sucking on his fists.
* Riding his tricycle - ha, ha. Just keeping you awake. Naw, it's not his tricycle, it's the neighbor's.
* Sitting up in his BebePod chair - yes, I posted a photo a while back, but it really is recent that he's learned to do this on his own without me continually pushing him back into place.
* Jumping around in his suspended-from-the-doorjam jumper - also captured in a photograph, but I tell you, he can really boogie in that thing now. His legs are getting super strong! Sometimes he even looks a little ballerina-esque...when he jumps up his toes point and his ankles flutter out and back again. Rebekah, what is that move called?
* Drooling like a salamander - ok, I don't know if salamanders drool, but I think of them as perpetually wet and slimy - and that pretty much describes the upper half of Benjamin these days. I suppose drooling like okra might work as well...okra most definitely does not drool, but it produces the slimiest substance I've ever experienced.
* Laughing - He started laughing occasionally a while ago, but he laughs daily now. This is my favorite skill.
* Holding his head up - he consistently does this in all kinds of circumstances and positions.
* Propping himself up on his elbows when on his belly - see the Washington Park pics for proof.
* Pushing his chest up by extending his arms while on his belly - this happens way less often, as he's just started doing it...but he can!
* Saying "mama" - I'm not entirely sure that he knows he's referring to me when he says it, but I think he does. It usually happens like this: Benjamin is crying and then he calls out "mamamama" and looks at me. Readers? Ya think?
* Becoming interested in the computer screen - uh-oh. Looks like Mama will have to stop watching internet TV during feeding times if she's going to set a good example!
* Sucking his thumb - he now deliberately and purposefully inserts his thumb into his mouth...in between sucking on his fists.
* Riding his tricycle - ha, ha. Just keeping you awake. Naw, it's not his tricycle, it's the neighbor's.
May 9, 2008
At The Park
Some more photos from our excursions at Washington Park. For the entire series, click here. (You can easily order photos by going to my album and clicking on the photos you like. Look for links to order photos.)
May 6, 2008
Through the Window
We were waiting for Papa to come home one afternoon, and the lighting presented us with another photo op. Download the series here.
May 5, 2008
From Rochester With Love
This week we had TWO wonderful visits from Benjamin's birthfamily members. On Thursday, Emma and Kevin stopped in. And, Benjamin got to meet his cousins when the Kemp family came by yesterday (Kevin's sister's family).
Here's a shot of Benjamin with his cousins (Joey, Alex, and Abigail, who is a few months older than him but not much bigger) and Aunt Lori and Uncle Jeremy.
Here's a shot of Benjamin with his cousins (Joey, Alex, and Abigail, who is a few months older than him but not much bigger) and Aunt Lori and Uncle Jeremy.
Jump Up, Jump Up, and Get Down
Benjamin just loves (most of the time) his new jumper from Great Grandma Norma. Mama loves this item because Benjamin can hang out in it while the kitchen gets cleaned. Jump around! Jump around!
May 1, 2008
So long, Softy
Benjamin's soft spot on the top of his head suddenly disappeared the other day. It seemed to happen overnight. I know this because I feel it every time I wash his hair, which is every other day.
This is a ponderous thing to me. The soft spot is like 2 to 3 inches in diameter. It was a huge portion of the top of his head! I can't imagine how it disappeared in 48 hours. Now you can actually see where his skull protrudes more than before - there's a round dome-ish area where there once was a flatish dip. Wow. The human body amazes me.
This is a ponderous thing to me. The soft spot is like 2 to 3 inches in diameter. It was a huge portion of the top of his head! I can't imagine how it disappeared in 48 hours. Now you can actually see where his skull protrudes more than before - there's a round dome-ish area where there once was a flatish dip. Wow. The human body amazes me.
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