Brotherly Love

This doesn't happen often, folks, but every now and then...

Starting Brazilian Jiu-jitsu

Benjamin recently started learning Jiu-jitsu. It's not a kicking-punching martial art, but rather a wrestling sort of one. This has been so good for him.

This is a work in progress, but he has been learning to get beaten without losing his cool, to take a fall without freaking out, and to keep going to the very end. His class is mostly girls, but there are two other boys who weren't there the day I took pictures. He goes to church with two of the girls and to school with another two.

In the video you can see some of the drills and then the matches he was in one day. In one photo, he gets bested by a girl named after the Tarkheena warrior girl in The Horse and His Boy. She is tough. All us moms sit around and admire her. At the end of that day he received his first stripe. And since then he has decided he doesn't want to do it any more. (Ha!  We've got to help him grow through this tendency to sabotage himself.)

If you get the chance, ask him how to do a leg sweep or if he's up for the turtle drill. He just might show you.



P.S. Yes, the soundtrack is full of bagpipes. Let's just say that's a little shout out to his Grandma Karen. It adds a twist that you wouldn't have if the music was all gongs and flutes.

Just some splashing around from today

The Papa and Bella

It's not exactly the best quality photo, but I do love how it shows The Papa with his littlest girl.

The things people say...

I grew up in a family of four kids, and I remember how even in the '80's that was sometimes considered a large family (though not uncommon). While we ain't got nuthin' on those folks who do a great job of raising, say, eight or more kiddos, we still end up as a main event when I go out with these punkins on my own.

But I do it. Going to Costco on a weekday morning is really a better use of our time than wasting family time on the weekend when The Papa is home and can hang out with us. If we have to do the divide-and-conquer thing in order to allow one of us an evening off, I'd rather meet a friend for coffee than head out to the grocery store. So I just take a deep breath, pass out some snacks, and go for it.

And here's what we look like: I am wearing Bella on my back; Sadie and Oli are in the child seats, and Benjamin is either orbiting around us like a satellite or dangling off the side of the basket like some sort of unfortunate growth.

I can see why we attract attention.

Most of the time comments are benign:

       "Oh, you've got your hands full!"

       "Wow, how old are they?"

       "Are those two twins?" (Indicating Sadie and Oli.)

       "I could never do that. I can barely handle one." (I have empathy for this parent. That's how I felt for a while with one, and then two. But as they get older, you find strength for the next.)

Sometimes people are a little more intrusive, more out of ignorance or an attempt to be nice than anything:

       "Are they all yours?" (Definitely noticing that we don't look much alike.) When I answer, "Yes," they sometimes follow up with, "I mean, are they all yours?"

       "Wow!  You look great for having all these kids! I mean, look at you!" as they eyeball my 10 month old.  (So...do I take credit for a body that didn't actually bounce back from labor four times? One time I mentioned adoption, but that opened up a can of worms with a very loud and tactless lady, so now I just say thanks and let them think I'm Supermom.)

I do try to be strategic about when we go out en masse. I much prefer decently behaved kids to wild and whiny ones. Folks will often use my children's occasional good behavior as a segue into telling me about the kids they witnessed yesterday melting down in public. A checker at Costco once went on and on about the parents who went through the entire warehouse with two screaming and crying little ones.
       "I mean, why didn't they just take them home? Who does that? They should have fed them something."
       What I am thinking is, that could have been me. That could be me tomorrow. The thing is, if the bystander is irritated by the child's behavior, you can be darn sure that parent is, too. No one likes being the person with squawking kids in a public space. No one goes out thinking - "I feel like getting judged for my parenting today. Come on tired, hungry kids, let's do this!" But we all find ourselves in that position from time to time. And we are there because we feel like it is the best option out of available (unfortunate) options...like feeding everyone water and dry beans for dinner that night.

Anyhoo. My favorite story is next.

One morning I'm walking through the halls at the doctor's office, herding the children to someone's appointment. An old man starts talking to us as we pass. "Oh, you sure got your hands full!"

"Yes, I do." I smile at him. He smiles at me, but his eyes are already drifting from one child to the next. He is counting and processing.

"Ah, you've got quite a young man right there," he says, indicating Benjamin.

"Yep, he's getting big!" I beckon Sadie to catch up; she's a drifter. The man continues taking it all in.

"Wow, those two are barely...wow...how do you get them all places? Oh."  He spots Bella on my back now. "Oh..."

Here we go.

"Are those all yours? Don't you think you have enough?"  We keep walking.

"You probably should slow down now!" His voice is raised, and he is irritated. He does not like that I have four kids. He thinks I procreated four times. He thinks there is something very wrong with that. He probably noticed that three baby daddies were involved.

We now get to absorb the discontent of any vocal person who believes that four plus kids is a problem. And this happens (not always as colorfully) with some regularity. Since we became a large family six months ago, I have fielded verbal barbs three times. That's an average of once every two months. I do think that the ages of the kids is part of what bothers people - they just look like so many and so unmanageable. And not everyone is comfortable with the busy-ness of little people. (Heck, I'm not totally comfortable with the busy-ness of my little people!)

I'm not mad or on a rant or anything. I know there is a lot of ignorance that simply comes from lack of experience. But I am baffled by the mindset that it's OK to make public comments about a stranger's family. In every instance of disrespect, the individual was someone who had gray hair. In other words, they were old enough to know better. Or perhaps they were old enough to think that their opinion mattered more than mine when it comes to my family.

I'll leave my observations there. For now, if you see us out in public, just imagine the circus dropped by. Feel free to smile and wave.

Annual Adoption Picnic

Every year our adoption agency hosts a huge picnic. Adoptive families come, birth families come, even friends of either side come. Bounce houses, grilling, a clown, and lots of chasing of children provide entertainment. This year we went with Sadie's birth father and his parents - her Nana and Tata. Sarah, our fabulous adoption facilitator (she helped with three of our kids), is in the pink shirt.

Sadie and Benjamin were first in line to get painted by the clown.

Benjamin told the clown that he wanted to be "gold." What?  "Just gold." The clown, who had already made fun of Sadie Eloise's name (I know, right?), acted like he was a real weirdo. That's OK...we can deal with a cranky clown.

I'm pretty sure I know what happened. Our boy who likes shiny things and sequins probably thoroughly looked over the paint kit and decided that nothing looked more fun than that glittery pot of gold. He's no fool. He asks for what he wants, even though he marches entirely to the beat of his own drum. (I pray he never loses that innocence, but I also ache for what challenges that might bring in today's world.)

Oh, Bella. Sitting on a serape.

Oh, Oli. Playing with your lei.

So then the clown started her show. For being such a cranky pants, she was pretty darn funny.

And here are my kids. The only ones who get up and run toward the front when she asks for a volunteer. They are having so much fun they can't contain themselves. I really should teach them to sit down.

Poor Oli was sick and spent a lot of time lying on Papa. And while this was going on, Sadie had the urgent need to pee. In the middle of a huge crowd in a huger park, girlfriend just kicked off her panties, hiked up her dress, squatted and did her thang. Free Range Kiddos are big time awesome, even when they are embarrassing.

We'll end with The Papa and his sense of humor. Sitting on hot coals was all his idea.

Meet Macy

Benjamin has been asking for any small furry creature for about the past year: a kitten, a hamster, a guinea pig, a rat. He was getting desperate.

Recently, someone we know offered to sell me one of her (many) rabbits, and its cage, for $20. Friends like these are good to have.

That was an exciting deal to strike...until I realized I would have one more chore (cleaning out a rabbit cage) that I didn't need. Benjamin can help, but it's slightly more than he can do himself.

In the end that is really OK.

We started about the business of naming her. Flopsy, Mopsy, Cloudy...and it gets sillier from there. Until Sadie Eloise decided that the rabbit should be named Sadie Eloise.

No, I said. I simply pulled Mama rank on that one. (Sadie Eloise named an entire pile of dolls Sadie Eloise. Every single one of them. Even the boy.)

So then she came up with Lucy, which is super cute. But Benj would have none of it. We all voted and tied on Flopsy and Lucy, but he insisted on Cloudy. Ugh. Who enjoys saying Cloudy? I had to get creative...secretly feed him ideas until he liked one of them enough to claim it as his own.  (Hey, this sounds an awful lot like how my mom influences my dad.)

So, he ended up liking Macy and thus her name was proclaimed. She's a sweet little thing.

Ack!  How did Captain Underpants and Super Una get in here?!

Isabella Smiles

I haven't posted much about Miss Bella Roux (yes, Sadie Lou needed a counterpart, though I must admit Izzy Bea is also in the running, with Bella Fleur a close third...), for a couple of reasons. First, she spent most of her early months here just looking at us blankly. I took shot after shot and got only the same flat expression - more on that later when I talk about transitions.

Then there is the fact that babies don't DO anything for a while, and as the other kids were doing things, and I don't have a ton of time to post, I reported on them. But now, check out our smallest Little Miss.

We get all kinds of smiles these days!

And she has teeth!  Currently she's got four on top and four on the bottom.

Most of all, she adores her eldest brother. Mama comes in just behind him on her list of favorites.

Summer of Swimming - Part 2

This has been a very exciting time in our household. Not only did Benjamin become really comfortable in the water (and pretty much able to swim), Oliver suddenly decided that playing in a pool is actually quite fun. We already know that bold little Sadie has always enjoyed herself in any environment. 

So here are some photos of EVERYBODY having fun!  I'm just going to stop writing now and let you enjoy the images.