More Conversations

This morning, talking to Mama...

Little P:  I'm a guy and you're a lady. Let me show you my awesome dance. (followed by much awesome dancing) 

*     *     *     *     *

Last week, Auntie Bek brought Little P one more present - a t-shirt that has a bike on it and says: This is how I roll. Apparently, Christmas has raised the expectations around here.

Auntie Bek:  Benjamin, I have a present for you.

Little P:  Really? What is it?

(Mama displays the t-shirt.)

Mama:  Look, it's a cool t-shirt with a bike on it.

Little P:  (silence)

Mama: What do we say to people who give us something nice?

Little P: Where's the other present?

*     *     *     *     *

Sunday Bike Ride

Benjamin is now a big bike rider. We took his bike to Lake Miramar today for a spin.

He ended up riding about 4.25 miles. Only once did he end up in the bushes on the side of the road.

But then there were the girls. Oh, yes. A gaggle of three elementary-aged girls riding their scooters.

They passed us going the other direction, and when they saw Benjamin, they burst out with exclamations of his cuteness. All three of them. Loudly. Continuously.

"Look how cute he is! AWWWWWWWWWWW! He's riding his bike!" and so on.

Benjamin turned to watch them as he rode past. It was not long before his neck was turned backwards. And then he did it. As a boy always will. He succumbed to their attention. A whooping, "Yeah!!!" exploded from his mouth. He was thrilled.

And then, almost in slow motion, he wobbled. Still craning his neck to see the girls, he did not even realize his folly. He leaned, wobbled some more, and toppled over onto his bottom, bike on top of him.

The girls giggled uncontrollably - that pack of girl laughter. Poor Benjamin looked up at me, stunned. It took him a minute to figure out what had happened. And then we got him back in the saddle and rode on.

Daley Ranch Hike

Daley Ranch is a beautiful reserve near our house. The Papa rides his bike there every week.

Benjamin and I sometimes go there to hike. Short hikes, of course.

With Buckley, of course.

It's fun to run down the path.

And smell the bushes.

And find rocks.

And carry sticks.

The dog likes it, too.

Welcome to our Thursday.

A little comparison

So, while we're at it -- let's consider the following images.

Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" (one of the greatest movies of all time).

Could there possibly be a resemblance?

A boy is a noise with dirt on it.

Someone has been playing in the dress-up box.

Anywhoo...

Little P:  OH!!!

Mama: (silently eating scrambled eggs)

Little P:  Mama, I said "oh!" because that bird outside is singing a lovely song for me.

*     *     *     *     *

Papa prepares to throw the Christmas tree off the balcony for trash pick-up.

Papa:  Say goodbye to the Christmas tree.

Little P:  Why?  Is it sick?

*     *     *     *     *

Little P finds a mini-flashlight in the car as he's climbing into his car seat.

Little P:  Mama, I can use this flashlight in the evening when it's dark out. It will show me the way.

*     *     *     *     *

As we're driving in the car. In the midst of getting to know a new birthmother and talking about his soon-to-arrive baby sister:

Little P:  Mama, do you have a baby growing in your uterus?

Mama:  No, love, I don't.

Little P:  (satisfied silence)


PHOTOS BELOW BY LITTLE P

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

Happy Birthday, Benjamin! You are now officially too fast to capture on camera. You dance to the beat of your own drum. You laugh loudly and sing sweetly. You are brilliantly boy. You are.

You are everything we could dream of, and we are grateful for you.

The Adoption Home Study Autobiography

Wondering what has to go in our autobiography? Why it might be four pages long?  Here are the questions we are supposed to address as we write:

I. Childhood

• How would you describe your childhood?
• Describe your relationship with your parents and siblings during your growing up years. Also, your present relationship with them.
• What do you remember of your parents’ marriage? Were there any financial, health or marital problems?
• What did you like about your mother and father? What would you have liked to change about either of them? Which one of them do you resemble most in personality and why?
• What parental expectations and messages did you get?
• Which parent provided positive feedback to you?
• What type of discipline was used in your home? Were they strict or lenient?
• Would you raise a child similar to how you were raised? If so, why? If not, what would you do differently?
• Was there any sex education in your home when you were growing up? If not, why do you think not? How would you discuss the subject with your child?
• What was your personality like as a child? What interests did you have? 
• What was your school experience?

II. Adolescence

• Describe your adolescence. 
• What rebellious experiences did you have as a teenager? 
• When did you start dating? 
• Describe your life as a teenager.
• Describe parental discipline during adolescence and parental attitude toward the teens.

III. Adulthood

• If you went to college, describe your college experience.
• If applicable, describe your military experience. Did you receive an honorable discharge?
• Outline your work history from your first job to your present job, including dates, job descriptions and your reasons for leaving each position.
• Are you satisfied with your present position and what career goals do you have for yourself?
• If applicable, describe any previous marriages or long-term relationships, including length of marriage/ relationship and reasons for divorce/separation.

Adoption Process - 2 Months to Due Date

Prior to the holidays, we first met our wonderful birthparents. The focus was on getting to know them.  (For now I'll call them A and R. We haven't yet discussed how they feel about me talking about them in the blog.)  A & R came over for dinner. They met Benjamin and brought sonogram photos of Baby Girl. R hung out with Brent while watching football.  A and I went to her doctor appointment.

And then I got a reminder email from Sarah:  Have you retained an attorney yet?  What about doing your home study before the baby is placed?  It should save you about $1,000 over waiting until you bring the baby home.

Ahem.  I was cruising along in babymama land and completely forgot about the technicalities of this little process. So here's what the past week looked like:

Tuesday, Dec 28:  Contacted home study (HS) agency - was told we had to file certain paperwork immediately in order to have enough time to complete it prior to the baby's due date.  Paperwork was emailed. I downloaded and printed it out.

Wednesday, Dec 29: Filled out five pages of paperwork and began to write my autobiographical piece (part of the HS - 2-4 pages about my life). The questionnaire asked about our marriage, areas of conflict, parenting style, and expectations of our children. It also had us define discipline and abuse. (Among other things.)


Thursday, Dec 30: Signed the interstate clearances so that background checks in NY could begin. Made appointment with adoption attorney for following week.

Friday, Dec 31:  Mailed to the HS agency our initial questionnaire, interstate clearances, and several other forms. Got a pedicure with A.

Over the weekend: continued to work on autobiography.

Tuesday, Jan 4: Two-hour birthing class with A and R. Made Livescan (electronic fingerprinting and background clearance) appointment for late in the week.

Wednesday, Jan. 5:   Sorted through hand-me-down baby clothes. Made appointments for our physicals required by the HS.

Thursday, Jan 6: Livescan appointment. $207.  Adoptive Parent Support Group in the evening - got to talk about how we were matched to our birthmama.

Friday, Jan. 7: Two-hour initial meeting with adoption attorney. Write check for $4,300 - the total cost of attorney fees for an adoption.

Next week:  Send in HS contract along with $2,000 for HS fee.  Finish autobiography. Obtain three reference letters for HS. Go to physical and get a TB test. Have TB test read three days later. Attend A's next doctor appointment.

Just in case you all were curious about the process...

Baby Readiness 101

The Mama has been advised that in preparation for the addition of a second child to the family, the first child (who has thus experienced life as an adored only child) must be adequately prepared.

For he must proceed from this lovely existence...

...to this one.

Therefore The P-Pod has commenced Operation Baby Nice. The Mama often carries the baby doll around and Little P must walk or sit next to (rather than on) The Mama's lap. Little P gets to help care for this baby. Once, Little P yelled at The Mama to put the baby down so that he could have a snuggle. But this is the point - for Little P to have the chance to get out his frustrations, his baby dropping and eye poking and rough handling, BEFORE baby sister arrives.

And so far? He's actually had a lot of fun caring for baby.

Happy New Year! from under the sea...

This week we took a little field trip to the Sea Life Aquarium at Legoland. There was definitely something fishy going on.

It's a self-guided tour through lots of tanks, big and little, where one can gaze at lots of fish, little and big.

Big.

B. I. G.

Some areas were festively decked out.

See the Lego Christmas tree? Beside the Lego deep sea machine? (below)

That was one humungous tank that we walked beside, over and under. From all views one could catch a glimpse of sharks (regular and hammerhead), rays, fish and something huge - I don't know what it was, but it looked like a fish that could have been the granddaddy of the fish above.

Here we walked under the tank - creatures swam above us.

And we wrapped up with this dude. He was hard to photograph because he kept getting jostled around by the waves in the tank. His flippers weren't too good.

So, happy new year! Find something colorful to start off the year with!